


So You Guys Are Bank Robbers? (Vaulters Oneshot Book)

by QuincyTeardrop



Series: The Vaulters [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Be scared, Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Face Reveal, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Jschlatt Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Soft Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), This is it folks, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Vaulters Family Dynamics, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:15:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28682415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuincyTeardrop/pseuds/QuincyTeardrop
Summary: "Vaults need keys for them to be opened, right? Well, will you be pleased with what you find?"Request me oneshots about the Vaulters. I know you're here from my You Are Now on Trending book don't lie to me. That's currently the only book I have right now. If you don't know, the Vaulters consist of Tommyinnit, Schlatt and Dream (There are two more other people but that would spoil my book lmao).This is going to be fuckin wild.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: The Vaulters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019955
Comments: 232
Kudos: 376





	1. Requests

That's right. Vaulters oneshot book. Here we go.

Who are the Vaulters?  
TommyInnit  
Dream  
Jschlatt  
Karl.  
"Dia"

Can you do anyone besides the Vaulters?  
FUCK YEAH.  
Karl Jacobs  
Skeppy  
Corpse Husband  
Michael Reeves  
(More to be added)

No ocs are here lmao.

Rules:  
Be specific.  
No smut.  
No shipping (Unless I feel as if it's needed for plot purposes)  
Nothing problematic.  
No reader insert.  
No ocs.  
No rape or all that jazz.

If you're interested, please send a request with the characters included, is it fluff, angst, etc., and you know the jist. Yes, I can write other people such as Tubbo, Wilbur, Deo... but only if they're not the main character. So like- TommyInnit foster kid angst and the rest of the SBI try to calm him down. Something like that.

I might not be able to do oneshots that are centered around certain people since I only write about the people I mostly watch and have a hang of. But that will change sooner or later at least.  
And, as a flipino myself, I HIGHLY SUGGEST SENDING ME MICHAEL REEEEEEEEE REQUESTS. THAT IS ALL.

I would also like you to know that my current book You Are Now on Trending is of higher priority than this oneshot book. So don't expect your requests to be written as quick as possible because I have a book that is literally the main reason why I made this oneshot book. 

So yeah. Request, and go wild.

Edit:

I will confirm if oneshots are canon or non-canon in storylines, or are just simply headcanons


	2. Schlatt, You're A Gamer. How Can You Stretch?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by: InfinityWarsDestroyedMe
> 
> Tommy is having a hard time getting a few poses right, and the competition is only a day away. Wait, when did Schlatt fucking stretch?
> 
> Not Canon

Stretching was something that Tommy was scarily used to during his everyday life. Wake up? Stretch. Eat breakfast? Let’s stretch after. Going outside? Stretch. Before streaming? Stretch. After streaming? Stretch. Going to sleep? You know the jist. 

It was a well-known fact between the Vaulters that Tommy…simply didn’t like staying still (unless he was streaming of course. He could go still for hours on end). It was what made him the “acrobat” of the family after all. He chuckles lightly, remembering that one time he did a handstand on the dining table. Surprisingly, Schlatt didn’t ground him, and Dream even encouraged him to do it more often.  
“Makes the day more… lively, you know?” Dream said to Tommy when he asked about it.  
So here he was, in his room, doing a handstand on a chair he stole from the kitchen. He recently had entered a national competition in acrobatics. This time they were supposed to tackle more on body movements and such. They weren’t allowed to use any items like poles and silks. Honestly, Tommy was grateful for that. He did not feel like using silks today, and he didn’t even have a pole anyways. 

He sets himself down so now he’s properly sitting on the floor, and he settles on doing a side angle to stretch his legs more. “Your shoulders and arms are too tense. Your legs will only tire themselves more if you do it like that.” Tommy yelps, and he falls on his back. “What the fuck man?” Schlatt is standing by the doorway of his room. Tommy sighs. He should really install a lock someday. “I bought you a lock today.” Schlatt said, as if he just read Tommy’s mind. The teen only rolls his eyes. Schlatt was like that sometimes.

“What do you want?” He asks a bit sternly, and he mentally slaps himself. Schlatt only smiles. “I was going to tell you to go to sleep. But I guess you’re too busy to take care of your sleeping schedule..?” Tommy rolls his eyes once more, causing the man to laugh. “While I’m here, I could try to help you? You do still remember what I said about how tense your muscles looked, right?” Tommy squints his eyes to stare at Schlatt. “…do you even stretch?” Schlatt simply raises his arms. “You got a point, no gamer stretches. But I do, so..?” Tommy simply sighs and looks to the side. “How can I get my body less tense?” 

Schlatt grins like a maniac and he goes to sit on Tommy’s well-made bed. “Alright! So, you need to…”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Tommy stares at the mirror and notices how more…fluid and graceful his movements turned as minutes passed by. Schlatt was long asleep, thanks to the teen who kicked him out of his room after seeing the light eyebags underneath his eyes. He stretched one more time before sitting on his bed. His thoughts linger as to why Schlatt knew how to fucking stretch, but he pushes them away.

Tomorrow was an important day for him, and he would either pop…or flop. He usually entered team competitions (He remembers trying to teach Eryn aerial hoops so they could join together. It never worked out well for the both of them…but at least he got his friend to finally do a split), but this time he had no team to back him up. If he lost, well, there was no one else to blame but himself.

He changes from his leotard, and wears his pajamas for tonight. As he was laying on his bed, he tried to remember who would be there. Of course, his parents were coming. No doubt that Uncle Stampy was coming too, and of course. Dream and Schlatt. He lightly chuckled to himself. He usually called Clay “Dream” instead of his real name, so he had to work on that tomorrow. He doubted that anyone would link him to be a Minecraft YouTuber, but it was a big competition after all.

Maybe they would recognize TommyInnit and JschlattLive talking to a tall Amercian-looking dark blonde, and from then on, they would connect the pieces and all hell would break loose.  
…then again, it’s a competition for acrobats. Not Minecraft fanatics, so Tommy guesses that it wouldn’t be much of a problem after all. His eyes slowly close, as he drifts off to sleep.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Suddenly, the leotard felt a bit too tight for Tommy. His hands were shaking, and sweat was dripping from his forehead. He gulped, and stared at the speaker installed on the corner of the room he was in. “Representing Hampshire, they have the youngest acrobat of the competition, Thomas Simons…” Tommy zoned out, and he was led outside. Lights were set on him, blinding him for a bit. 

He breathes in.

Tommy scans the big crowd and spots three familiar faces. Dream was there with his usual gray hoodie, and he was waving. Schlatt meanwhile had a camera in hand with Stampy right next to him. He was shouting something that the teen couldn’t hear, but that didn’t matter right now. Tommy smiles. 

He breathes out.

The judge whispers something to the person behind them, and they face Tommy once more. They nod. He starts with a little spin before heading to the center of the mattress. He closes his eyes.

He breathes out.

He breathes in.

Then he lets go.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The competition is coming to a close, and the judges were speaking amongst themselves. It was in a way, “intermission time.” Tommy is supposed to walk back to the room where he came from, but a devised plan stops him from doing so. Instead, he goes to the nearest bathroom that they have. When he opens the door, he’s greeted with Dream balancing himself by pressing his back and feet against an unfortunate bathroom stall and Schlatt sitting on the sink, eyes focused on the camera in front of him.

The moment Tommy steps in, Schlatt jumps down from the sink and Dream lands on his feet. They engulf him in a warm hug, although Tommy laughs when Dream pulls back, complaining about how sweaty he was. “Leave the kid alone, Clay. You don’t see us complaining about how sweaty you are after one of your ‘parkours.’” Dream quickly shuts up, muttering to himself. 

Tommy steals a glance at Schlatt’s camera, and snorts when he notices the logo of Schlatt’s usual editing app. “You’re in a major acrobatic competition and you’re STILL editing videos, Schlatt?” The business man sighs. “Actually, no.” He leaves it at that, and he grabs the camera to continue whatever he was doing.  
Tommy was having none of that. 

He snatches the camera away, ignoring the loud “HEY!” from his older brother. He chuckles, expecting to see… himself? Tommy raises a brow. It was just a recent video of him doing his flexy shit during his time on the spotlight. If he could guess, Schlatt was editing the video by cutting out “unnecessary” parts. “What’s this?” He asks Schlatt, and he notices that Dream is peeking over his shoulder. “Woah.”

“Something for your birthday or something…” Schlatt mutters, but Tommy could hear it loud and clear. The gremlin child grins wide. “You know how I always take pictures and videos of you guys?” Someone snorts. It was Dream. “Yeah, I remember you struggling to keep up with me during one of my ‘expeditions.’” Schlatt grumbles and he crosses his arms. “I use you guys for references and all that artistic shit. But recently, I was doing it for your birthday.” He gestures to Tommy, who seemed confused.

“Me?” Schlatt smiles. “Figured out how to create 3D art…” Tommy and Dream lean in, waiting for more answers. After a few seconds of silence, Tommy sighs. “And…?” Schlatt covers his face with his hands. “…I finally learned how to animate.” Tommy smiles and wraps Schlatt in a hug. Dream throws his arms in the air.  
“POGGERS!”

It wasn’t long before Schlatt and Dream had to return to their seats, Stampycat waiting for them eagerly. “No one tried to steal your stuff this time!” He exclaims, and Schlatt lightly punches his arm while Dream just laughs. “Third place…” They all zone out at that exact moment, knowing that Tommy would probably just get first place. Okay, so maybe they held too much pride for him, but it was a family thing okay? “Second place…” Stampy chuckles. “I told ya that white leotard guy would get second place.” “Shut up Joseph.”

“First place, Thomas Simons of Hampshire-“ 

“Hey!”

“What? I just said shut up, no big deal- wait, what?”

They watched as Tommy, who was sobbing mind you, was given a trophy and certificate. “WOO, THAT’S MY BROTHER BITCH!” Schlatt shouted, causing the people around them to look at him. Dream apologized for his behavior before dragging both Schlatt and Stampy to where Tommy was. Being the fastest and more athletic of the two, Dream was able to reach Tommy first, hugging him. Stampy sighs while Schlatt rolls his eyes. "Stop hogging him to yourself, Clay. He's my brother too, you little shit."

Dream ignores the insult, and he spins Tommy up in the air, causing the teen to giggle. Schlatt meanwhile almost had a heart attack, thinking that Tommy would fall. “Excuse me?” Someone approached Stampy. “We were supposed to take his picture, but now that you guys are here, would you like to join in?” Stampy nodded, calling out the other’s names. Tommy was set onto the floor much to his own dismay, and suddenly he was right in front of a camera. Schlatt was to his right with Dream on his left. Stampy was just behind him. He felt an arm around his shoulder, and he relaxed. He smiled wide, happy to be with his family.

“Say cheese!”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Tubbo laughed at the rapid pace of his Twitch chat. “Okay, okay chat…oh, here it is!” He brought up the article about him that was made years ago, when he still took trampoline lessons. “Yeah, I won a gold medal here!” He exclaimed in joy, before something else took his attention. “16 year old blonde acrobat wins national competition?” He spoke the headline out loud. He clicked on it, briefly forgetting about his stream.

“Thomas Simons of Hampshire wins a competition as its youngest acrobat.”

“Wait, Tommy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request. *cocks gun*  
> NOW


	3. The Silence Loves. The Silence Hates. It Loves You Though

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by: klazomaniac
> 
> Dream is hurt, and he comes home. Schlatt is worried.  
> The silence lingers on.
> 
> Canon

_The silence is unnerving._

_It is ruthless, and cold._

_The silence hates you._

“Where were you?”

Dream stops in the middle of his tracks as he faces his brother, Schlatt. Suddenly, the lights were too bright and overbearing for him.

“Are you limping.” It was more of a statement than a question, and Dream can’t help but nod, intimidated. Schlatt sighs as he nears his little brother. “You made me worried, you little shit.” He guides him to the couch, before leaving the living room. He disappears into the bathroom, and comes out with a first aid kit. “Did you sprain your leg or something?” Nod. “From what? Jumping from a huge-ass cliff or a building?” Dream nods when Schlatt says building.

“You’re a menace to society.” Dream laughs, although his voice is hoarse. “Do you remember that one Netflix movie we watched about some dude who brought the wrong chick with him to some team-bonding vacation?” Dream nods, albeit slowly this time. He was getting confused. “Do you remember what Missy did?”

What Missy- Dream groans in pain as he covers his face with Schlatt’s shoulder. Schlatt just relocated his ankle. “Got you distracted.” Dream huffs, as Schlatt rolls his eyes. “Loser.” The traceur sputters out whines and complaints, but the business man does not listen.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Dream tries to refrain from giving out more information about how many bones he’s broken today, but Schlatt’s eyes soften and he can’t help but to not resist. “Your wrist? What, you fell from a wrong trajectory, and when you tried to hang onto something- never mind. I know what happened.” Dream doesn’t question how all of Schlatt’s theories and predictions are correct, but he is a bit frustrated.

“I dropped out of HARVARD, Dream.” Oh. Right. “Shit, I forgot the bandages.” Dream watches him quickly run up the stairs, and he almost trips on his way down carrying a bunch of bandages. “Stay still.” He wraps up his ankle and his wrist. If people would know of Dream’s situation, they would ask confused as to why he would approach his ~~brother~~ friend instead of the hospital.

Because he trusts him.

And Schlatt trusts him too.

“Don’t try leaving the house next time.”

He doesn’t baby him, or leave him alone to his own devices.

“I’ll carry you up to your room, okay?”

He doesn’t see him as a child, and at the same time he doesn’t see him as an adult who deserves all the hardships and responsibilities thrown at him.

“Jesus fuck- you’re fucking light. Have you been eating?”

He cares, and he loves, and he cares and loves him back.

“I’m opening the door now, buddy.”

He is the rock, the anchor. The one who came to all of his soccer plays. The one who visited Tommy in the middle of an aerial silk lesson. The one who cheered for him when he reached the other side despite the long-distance jump needed. The one who comforted Tommy when it was time to move away.

The one who kept them all together when half-meant and regrettable insults and actions were thrown at each other left and right. When it seemed as if the ~~home~~ house that they built for themselves was going to fall apart even by the smallest gust of wind.

When he was falling, falling so fast and just as he was about to hit the ground he was saved by a man with a black hoodie and yankee hat.

“Are you okay?” Dream snaps out from his thoughts, and he doesn’t notice the silent tears that’s running down his face. He only hugs his ~~brother~~ friend closer, and holds him tight. “I’m here.” Dream feels as if he was free. As if he could finally breathe. And it feels so exhilarating, and he craves for more affection and love from his family.

From his little brother Tommy. From his older brother Schlatt.

He feels whole and complete.

“Don’t go.” His voice is sore from not using it, and from forgetting to drink water. “I’m not going anywhere you little shit.” Dream smiles, and he laughs. The laugh is genuine. “Thank you.” Schlatt raises a brow. “What are you thanking me for?”

 _Everything._ Dream wants to tell him, but he stays silent. “It hurts.” It hurts, and suddenly he is aware of the pain on his ankle. On his wrist. If this continued, he would probably get a headache. “Is it one of those days?” He does not answer, but he knows that Schlatt knows because they have this weird connection between the three of them that he can’t even explain.

“Hello?” Tommy. The teen is right next to him. When did he get here? “Hello, Clay.” He hugs him too, and he is content. “You can sleep now. We’ll hold the fort for now.” The pain is increasing, but it is overshadowed by the amount of love and care he feels from his two brothers. His family.

 _Someday, you should return the favor._ Dream thinks, but he knows that the two are willing to wait for him. “Sleep.” Someone whispers. Tommy? Schlatt? He doesn’t know. But it is so nice and so warm and he is content.

When he wakes up, he is in his room. Tommy is by his right, his head buried in his chest. Schlatt is by his left side, as he hugs his arm. It is silent. It is warm. He wants to stretch his limbs, but he thinks _not now._ He will relish the moment of feeling Tommy’s heartbeat in rhythm with his own, and Schlatt’s small snores filling the room.

 _You have gone soft._ A voice whispers in his mind. _Good._ For some reason, you could practically hear the voice _smile_ , and he can’t help but smile too. _Protect them with all you have._

The birds are chirping, and he can hear the engine of a car roar, yet he stays still. He is fond of the little family that he has found, and he is grateful to even have them by his side.

_The silence is unnerving._

Dream smiles.

_It is ruthless and cold._

Someone yawns.

_But it can also provide sympathy._

“Good morning.”

_At the same time, it is kind and warm._

“I’m so fucking hungry.”

“Lmao.”

“Did you just say lmao out loud?”

_The silence loves you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM FUCKIN PROUD OF THIS IDK WHY  
> ALSO I UPDATED THIS AND MY MAIN STORY ON THE SAME DAY POGGERS


	4. This Is Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by: InfinityWarsDestroyedMe
> 
> Dream is a monster.
> 
> Tommy can't communicate.
> 
> And Schlatt needs space.
> 
> Strangely enough, they make it work out.
> 
> Canon

_“Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess,  
This avoids the stress of falling out of it…”_

“Look, I know that it’s going to be hard, I know that okay!? Can you please just cooperate-“

“How should I cooperate, huh, Schlatt? I just want. To get out of this fucking house. “

“Don’t fucking shout at each other! You guys are like fucking children!”

“Oh yeah, says the actual child in the house.”

“You’re a shitty bitch.”

“The feeling’s mutual you sick fuck!”

“Just leave us alone, okay?”

“I’m trying my GODDAMN BEST here, kid! You think you’re the only one having problems!?”

“Well, YOU’RE ACTING LIKE SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE A CARE IN THE WORLD!”

“Take that back.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Just…both of you, just cool down for a bit…okay?”

“Fuck you. Fuck you.”

* * *

Dream remembers falling asleep on the porch of their house, and suddenly he finds himself awake by a voice.

“Oh hey! You good there, buddy?”

He looks around before his eyes settle on a man with curly brown hair. “Name’s Joseph, nice to meet ya!” He exclaims as he lends a hand. Dream hesitantly takes it. “I’m sorry, but uhm…why are you here?” Joseph laughs. “I noticed a new neighbor, that’s all.” He gestures to the house at the other side of the street. “That’s where I live.”

Dream’s body relaxes, but he still remains cautious. “I honestly thought you were dead, sleeping here like that!” Dream awkwardly laughs as he scratches the back of his neck. “Ha…sorry for worrying I guess. That’s kind of a bad first impression now that I think about it…” The man grins. “No problem!” Dream stares out onto the street. “So, how’s your day?” “Horrible.” Dream quickly answers. 

Joseph frowns. “Well, that’s bad.” Dream chuckles. “No shit. Hey, you seem familiar for some reason.” He says as he turn his head to look up at Joseph. “Ah, that’s probably because I’m a YouTuber, don’t worry.” Dream’s eyes widen. “Stampycat?” “That’s me!”

_”Are you tired of me yet?  
I'm a little sick right now but I swear  
When I'm ready I will fly us out of here~”_

Tommy relishes the attention given to him by his parents, but now, seeing that he was living with Schlatt and Dream instead literally miles away, he can’t help but feel overwhelmed. Things are going to be new now. He was still going to the same college of course, lest he wanted to leave poor Louie and Henry all alone, I mean- they’d probably be lost without him!

He lets out a shaky sigh as he stares at his contacts. His eyes land on one name, and one name only.

“Karl Jacobs”

Tommy bit his lip, thinking whether or not he should call the man. “Wait, did he even live with Mr. Beast?” He says out loud as he picks up his phone. “Or- or does he just live CLOSE to him?” He questions. His thoughts turn rapid as each seco0nd passes, and his finger twitches. Suddenly, he hears ringing and he looks down on his phone. “Oh fuck.”

He just called Karl Jacobs, and before he knew it, the man himself answered. “Hello?” He was fucked.

_“(Mmm) I'll cut my hair…  
(Mmm) To make you stare  
(Mmm) I'll hide my chest,  
And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh~”_

Schlatt was having a bad day, so to speak. He entered Dream’s room to only find nothing but a neat and tidy bed. He went to Tommy’s, but the door was locked and he could faintly hear… concerning? Statements from the teen. He lies down his bed, hugging his knees to his chest. He chuckles. Him worrying and getting paranoid in the middle of the night seemed familiar to him. 

He sighs, and gets out his phone, planning on just playing some sad music to accompany his own. His mind stutters though, when he suddenly finds himself hyperventilating and calling a random number from his contacts. “H-hello?”

“What’s up Schlatt?” Schlatt sobs in relief when he hears his friend Charlie. “O-oh my god.”  
“Hey, are you okay? You kind of just, called me in the middle of the day.” Day? Oh, right. He didn’t know that he moced to the UK. “I mean, not complaining of course, so how’s your DAY?” Schlatt resists the urge to snort at the terrible pun. “B-bad, why do you think I’m here sounding like a dying pig?

“Pretty sure that a dying pig would sound like Technoblade losing a potato war. And I’m not BadBoyHalo Schlatt, did you hit your head? Pretty sure BadBoyHalo wouldn’t say fuck.” Schlatt laughs. “Just keep on t-talking, Charlie. I just- just need someone to listen to.”

“Okay then, so Ted is a fucking psychopath…”

_“Turn off your porcelain face  
I can't really think right now and this place  
Has too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane…”_

“Wait, so you’re actually, GENUINELY… THE Dream?” Dream laughs at Joseph’s shocked face. “I mean yeah, I thought it was obvious once I dropped the accent?” Joseph grins. “Kind of hard to realize who you are with a stone cold ‘mask’ like that. But it's nice to finally meet you in person for once. Like, 3 years, huh?” Dream stiffens, and he rubs his arm. “Huh. Yeah.”  
Joseph smiles. “You know, now that you’re here in the UK, this could be a whole new chance for you.” Dream raises a brow. “Hm?” Joseph laughs. “New territory, you know? Maybe learn a thing or two here, go jump off the clock tower or something.” Okay. Stampycat was weird in person. 

“Just joking of course, but you could also expand your community.” Joseph states. “The people are nice around here, and who knows?” Joseph winks. “You’ll find something that’s going to be worth your move here.” Dream lightly chuckles. “Huh, yeah. Maybe.”

_”Are you dead?  
Sometimes I think I'm dead,  
'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head  
But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet~”_

“Woah, Tommy, Tommy, calm down. Take a few deep breaths for me- ah honk I’m bad at this.” Tommy stops his crying session to get a chance to laugh. “Hey! I was trying to comfort you, you know!?” He hears Karl exclaim from the other side of the phone. Tommy laughs once more. “Y-yeah, I know Jacobs.” He hears the man sigh. “Are you sure you’re okay Tommy?” The teen sniffles as he wiped his nose. “Does it seem like it?” He asks, voice small.

“No, but it’s okay to not be okay.” Tommy’s breath hitches. “Is it really?” Karl laughs. “Of course, Tommy! Everyone has their bad days.” Tommy suddenly remembers why he called him in the first place. “H-hey Karl, what if you just moved somewhere R-REALLY, REALLY far away?” The other end of the phone is silent, until he hears the man’s voice once again. 

“Well, I mean. It’s kind of hard. But you’ll get used to it! It’s kind of nice too, especially since you get to meet new people and have new opportunities…like me!” Karl chuckles. “It’s fun living close to Jimmy, Chris and Chandler. They’re fun. They make me feel less lonely.” Tommy smiles. “Thank you, Karl.”  
“You’re welcome- wait, what are you thanking me for again?”

_“(Ooh) My eyes went dark…  
(Ooh) I don't know where,  
(Ooh) My pupils are  
But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here~”_

_“Get a load of this monster..”_

Dream rushes inside of the house, not before thanking Stampy of course. The door slams open.

_“He doesn't know how to communicate-“_

Tommy hears the loud slam of a door, and suddenly he ends his call with Karl before saying goodbye. He jumps out of bed and suddenly he’s in the living room.

_“His mind is in a different place…  
Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?” _

“Bye, Charlie.” “Bye Schlatt!”  
Schlatt stays still for a moment, before going downstairs.

_“Get a load of this train wreck!  
His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet..” _

No one makes a move, and instead they talk to each other through their eyes. They come to an agreement, and they all know that they’ve been forgiven by one another. Tommy retreats back to his room to grab some of the blankets he had stolen, and he places them on the floor. Schlatt and Dream go upstairs to grab some pillows, and they make a little pillow fort in the living room.

They move around to find a comfortable place for them to sit on, and Schlatt finds himself in the middle of the cuddle pile. He sighs content, as they all drift to sleep.

_“But little do we know, the stars  
Welcome him with open...” _

_“Get a load of this monster,  
He doesn't know how to communicate!  
His mind is in a different place-  
Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?” _

_“Get a load of this train wreck!  
His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet..” _

Dream and Tommy wake up to the smell of waffles, and Dream stands up to look towards the kitchen. He finds Schlatt making food for them all. Schlatt smiles at him and Dream smiles back. Dream joins him in the kitchen, with Tommy following suite.

“What’s for breakfast?”

“It’s fucking waffles, you blind bitch.”

“Lmaoooo, Schlatt just roasted you.”

“Lmaooo, please stop staying lmaoooo.”

“Both of you stop before I kick you guys out of this fucking house.”

“You wouldn’t have the balls to do it.”

“I mean…”

“That was BEFORE, you’re in the present now Schlatt.”

“Whatever, you guys are morons.”

“Lmao.”

“CLAY.”

_“But little do we know, the stars_  
Welcome him with open arms  
Oh~” 

_Time is slowly tracing his face…but strangely he feels at home in this place._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao when you love Cavetown but you also remember one of their songs could give your readers hints about the truths and headcanons in the oneshot that also applies in the main book lmao couldn't be me :)


	5. We Have Cookies! (And An Acrobat Named Tommy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by: gay x3 and DumbQwp (Yes, I mashed it together.)  
> The Lunch Club and Jawsh are very horrible with kids, apart from maybe Cooper and Noah. The problem? They’re taking care of TommyInnit, who was currently “missing” when he just went to pick up his Business Bay friends and stream.  
> Schlatt, that’s not something to be proud of. Your brother almost made Charlie get a heart attack.
> 
> Not canon

Schlatt and Dream looked at each other in exasperation. Tommy was in his room, playing Minecraft with some of his friends. “Look, we can’t leave him alone in the house.” Schlatt hissed. “Yeah, yeah I know! But this is important, Schlatt. We both have to finish some paperwork and some files so that we could actually live here legally. We’ve been here for 2 weeks. People are going to get suspicious, and I don’t want to meet the police again as a tax evader and not a rogue traceur!”

Schlatt lightly chuckled at that, while Dream only huffed and crossed his arms. “This is serious.” Schlatt calmed down. “Y-yeah, I know. But the police recognizing you as the rowdy kid who jumps on people’s rooftops is going to be really funny to me.” Dream rolled his eyes. “Okay wise guy. You can stop.” He sighed. “Stampy isn’t home, so who’s going to look after Tommy?”

Schlatt sheepishly smiled, as Dream only squinted his eyes. “…who did you call for help, Schlatt?” Schlatt only shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. “I mean, they’re visiting the UK right now, and they’ll be staying for a week…” Dream covered his face with his hands, sighing. “You didn’t.” Schlatt did not say anything else. “No, you did NOT call THEM.” Dream’s face was now of pure shock and terror.

_DUDUDUDU…_

The doorbell rang. Schlatt looked at Dream with an incredulous look. “Did you change our doorbell to your fucking speedrunning music?” Dream shrugged, mocking Schlatt’s previous actions. “Maybe.” Schlatt only sighed and went to open the door. “Hey, I heard the doorbell. What’s going on?” Dream turned around to see Tommy, a hand on his hip. 

“Your caretakers are here.” Tommy only rolled his eyes and went outside to meet the supposed “caretakers.” 

“Hey, where’s Cooper?” Tommy heard Schlatt ask once he neared the group. Oh. It was the Lunch Club. “Oh, he’s-“  
Suddenly, a large blur passed by, before stopping (or well, falling) right in front of Ted. Tommy resisted the urge to chuckle. “YOU SUCK, COOPER!” Ted shouted. Schlatt sighed. “I’m kind of regretting this now.”

* * *

So that is how they ended up here. In the living room. Watching TV while subtly glancing at Tommy’s bedroom door. The teen decided to just “fuck it,” introduced himself and quickly went back inside his room. “…didn’t know that Schlatt lived here.” Noah stated, as Charlie and Ted were still trying to choose which movie to watch on Netflix. “Yeah. But you know, this house has a beautiful ADDRESS. But I kind of expected an elevator in here, not really UPLIFTING am I right?” The others remained unphased, only sighing at Charlie’s puns.

“Shut up Charlie, we’re trying to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

Tommy heard Noah state. He rolled his eyes, as he was packing up his things. Phone? Check. Leotard? Check. Some streaming equipment? Check. A list of where all his friends lived? Also check.  
He slipped out of his room through his window, as his feet met the ground. He went around the house, avoiding the see-through glass. He was near the street, and when he looked at his right, he saw… Cooper smoking a cigarette? He stared at him for a while before Cooper made eye contact. They both tensed. “…shouldn’t you be inside?” Cooper asked after a minute of silence.

Tommy scoffed. “Same to you, bitch.” Cooper grinned. “Where are you going?” Tommy shrugged. “I’m going to go kidnap a few of my friends and do a stream.” At that, the man stood up and lent out a hand. Tommy raised a brow. “What?” “You’ll need someone to drive right?” Tommy smirked as he handed him keys to a car. Cooper got ahold of it and pressed a button, and a red sleek car from the other side of the street let out a sound.

This time, Cooper raised a brow. “Borrowed my neighbor’s car keys.” Tommy said, already nearing the car. Cooper quickly followed and opened the door to the driver’s seat. Tommy sat on the front with him. “Where to?” Tommy took out his phone, seemingly searching something. “Phoenix Stars Cheerleaders gym.”  
“…it’s closed.” Cooper said once he stole a glance at Tommy’s phone. Tommy shrugged. “Let’s say they owe my friend something. HIT IT, BITCH!” Cooper lightly chuckled as he inserted the car key and pressed the gas pedal. The car’s engine roared to life, as they began to move.  
A stoner and a child in a “borrowed” car, what will they do?

* * *

“WHAT!?” Schlatt shouted from inside the car. “TOMMY’S MISSING- OH MY GOD. COOPER IS TOO!?”  
“…TRY TRACKING THEIR PHONE THEN YOU DIPSHITS-“ Dream groaned. “Can you be quiet? I’m trying not to crash on our way home, Schlatt.” Schlatt’s head suddenly turned, and he was glaring at Dream. The speedrunner did not bother to hide his shudder. “Your brother. Is missing, Dream. Tell me to be quiet again. I dare you.” Dream only shook his head and placed his eyes on the road once more.

Schlatt rolled his eyes and went back to shouting at his phone. “Look Schlatt, we don’t know where the kid is.” Josh explained. “I mean, he could be anywhere for all we know.” Schlatt sighed, as he covered his face with one hand. “Just fucking find him, damn it!” Travis frowned at the tone of Schlatt’s voice. “We’ll try, Schlatt. Don’t worry, we’ll find him!” Travis said, trying to bring comfort. “You better, dipshit!” Then nothing. Schlatt hung up on the group.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck.” Noah said after the deafening silence. “We gotta find the kid. Fast.” Ted rolled his eyes. “Way to point out the obvious, Noah.” The said man raised his hands, taking a step back. “I’m just saying.” Tarvis spoke up, “I mean we could just go around, ask questions?” Ted nodded. “I think that’s our best bet.” 

“Uh, guys?” Charlie spoke up for once. “The kid, Tommy, is streaming right now.” They immediately went over to Charlie, peeking over his shoulder. “Big stream with small men. Huh.” Ted said once he saw the stream’s title. 

“What is up stream!” Tommy exclaimed. “Today I kidnapped- I mean brought over some friends.” Someone said, “Nice save.” after the sentence. “Was that… Cooper?” Josh asked to no one in particular. “That little shit…” Charlie trailed off once he saw that Tommy was holding up some kind of hoop thingy. “This boys, is a gymwheel.” Tommy smirked. “And I’m going to teach the Business Bay how to use it.” As if on cue, Luke, Bitzel, Deo and Wisp stepped into the frame. “We were kidnapped. Oof-“ Tommy harshly nudged Wisp by the side. 

“He said nothing chat, he said nothing.” Deo lightly chuckled. “Kind of true though, ow!” This time, Tommy hit him by the back of his head. “…I’m just not going to say anything.” Luke said when he saw Tommy glare at him. 

“And I’m here…” Cooper stepped into frame too, except he was holding a bowl and a spoon. “…to provide- wait I gotta eat this.” He brought the spoon to his mouth, and everyone realized he was eating cereal. “I’m just here to provide moral support I guess.” He said after gulping down the cereal. 

“…is he seriously eating cereal in the middle of the day?” Deo asked. “Hey, it’s good.” Cooper defended himself, holding to bowl tight to his chest. “Yeah, anyways, I’m going to try to teach the boys some cool acrobatic shit. We’ll start with the gymwheel and some aerial silks.” The others gulped, besides Cooper who was only watching on, amused. “Let’s start, then.”

* * *

After some research, the group found out where Tommy was. Well, there was also the neighbor who shouted, “MY CAR!” outside of the house. “You know, poor guy.” Ted said after finding out that Tommy and Cooper “borrowed” the now missing car. “Isn’t that illegal?” Travis asked the man. He shook his head. “I gave it to him willingly. If I had known…”

And that’s how they ended up parked in front of a huge-ass gym. “This is a huge-ass gym.” Ted rolled his eyes once more. “Again, thanks for pointing out the obvious Noah.” He made his way to the front and tried to pull open the doors. They wouldn’t budge. “Alright guys.” Ted said as he took a step back. “It's locked. Someone’s got to barge in.” 

Josh raised his hand. “I can try!” Ted nodded, as he stepped out of the way. “Go on.” Josh tried to put some distance between him and the doors, and suddenly he rushed forward. Just as he was about to touch the door, Ted pushed it open. Oh. He ended up still running as he desperately tried to find any friction. He found it…through tripping on his shoelaces and falling face first onto the ground. 

“Get dunked on, you lil’ dipshit.” Ted said when he neared Josh, squatting down. “Oh, fuck you Ted!”  
The rest of the group ventured forward, finding themselves in a large room with lots of equipment. Oh, and Tommy. “OH MY GOD IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE THAT HIGH UP!?” Charlie exclaimed once he saw the teen. Tommy was doing stunts and tricks on a silk, and he seemed to be 6 or 7 meters away from the ground. “It’s natural don’t worry.” A voice spoke up. It was Cooper. “Oh, hey Cooper.” Noah greeted. Cooper waved his hand. 

Charlie went on to sit on the floor, lying on his back. “Oh my god I feel like I’m having a heart attack.“ “Then perish.” Ted said as he neared the group. “Where’s Josh?” Cooper asked. “Probably sulking around.” Ted lied. “You know. The kid’s actually great at this.” Noah stated. The all turned to look at Tommy… who was unfortunately for Charlie, still meters away from the ground. 

“Nice, he went higher.” At that, Charlie fainted. No one paid attention to him though. “YOU EXPECT US TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT!?” Wisp shouted at Tommy. The teen only stuck up his middle finger. “I ALREADY BROKE MY LEGS DURING THE SPLITS, TOMMY.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “NOT MY FAULT YOU’RE SUCH A BITCH, WISP.” Luke’s eyes widened. “Wait, we’re going to try silks?” Deo grimly nodded. Luke went pale. “Oh my god I can’t even reach my fucking toes.”

Tommy cackled, as the rest kept on watching. They smiled.

* * *

“YOU’RE NOT GOING TO PAY US!?” Schlatt rolled his eyes at Ted’s antics. “No, dipshit.” Cooper sighed. “Let it go, Ted.” “HE MADE CHARLIE FAINT!” Dream chuckled. “And you made Josh fall on his face.” Tommy smiled. “True.”

The stream long ended, as the others went on to drop of Tommy’s friends at their respective places before going home themselves. “I’ll be paying Cooper though.” At that, the other Lunch Club members (minus Josh, who was passed out on the couch due to the harsh impact on his head) looked up. 

“HE’S THE MAIN REASON THE KID WENT MISSING ANYWAYS-“

“I ALMOST DIED OF A HEART ATTACK, SCHLATT-“ ("Oh right! Tommy. High-five." Schlatt said as he raised his hand. Tommy gladly took it.)

“So, we’re not getting paid?”

Schlatt groaned. “For the last time, I’m not paying you guys anything besides Cooper!” He exclaimed. “Fine!” Charlie pouted as he crossed his arms, the others doing something similar as to what he just did. They all fell to a comfortable silence after that. Well, at least until SOMEONE spoke up. And that someone being the TommyInnit, big man himself.

“Can Big C visit us during the weekends?” He asked. Schlatt raised a brow as he stared at Cooper who only had a deadpanned look on his face. “…depends.” Tommy grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll use MY money to pay him instead.”  
Schlatt smirked. "Sure, kid."

“OH COME ON-“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Procrastination go brrrrr  
> Also love you Thunder, no homo <33
> 
> JOIN THE DISCORD BITCH  
> https://discord.gg/YcZXMPpbR8


	6. "Man In Lime-Green Hoodie Jumps Off Building." - News Reporter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: ArtisticIdiot  
> Dream is an idiot. But nonetheless, he’s a smart idiot. The Vaulters know this. The problem?  
> The others don’t.
> 
> Not Canon

When they were going to first meet with each other, he didn’t expect to find himself in a large crowd in front of a tall-ass building, trying to get one of his best friends to come down. But well, Americans are kind of weird, innit? Too bad he’s friends with a lot of them, two being his closest friends. Although, one of them is bolder. Bolder than the kind of American bold that you see in cheesy sit-coms and movies.

Who’s to say that his friend was about to die during their first hang-out?

“DREAM, GET DOWN FROM THERE!” Bad shouted. George was sweating bullets by now, as he tried to calm himself down. “My best friend is fucking stupid.” Surprisingly, Bad didn’t tell him off, too occupied with the Dream situation. It was supposed to be a simple meet-up for every Dream SMP member. Of course, some couldn’t join them, but there were still a lot of people who were available on the day itself. George was surprised that he didn’t sleep on everyone else. "DREAM JUST- GET DOWN!" He shouted, his heart beating fast. Look, he was scared for his friend okay? He knew that Dream was dumb, but not THAT dumb that he would willingly jump off a fucking building. Which, by the way, could possibly lead to a concussion, multiple broken bones, maybe a coma depending on which part of Dream's body would get most impact-

"HAHAHA THE SICK FUCK ACTUALLY REACHED THE TOP!" Tommy shouted at the top of his lungs. Schlatt was beside him, amused, but he still had a worried look on his face. It was gone by the time that Dream raised a thumbs-up. "It was a pleasure working with you God!" 

Tommy wheezed.

* * *

“Oh my god, Dream. When are you going to take off that stupid mask of yours?” George asked in annoyance. The speedrunner laughed it off. “Why, Georgie? That desperate to see my face?” The brit’s face contorted into disgust. “I’d rather pretend you’re a small white blob instead of a man without a face, thank you very much.”

Dream rolled his eyes, although not seen, and walked forward to where the SBI were taking lead. “I swear Wilbur, I didn’t sneak out!” Wilbur sighed. “Toms, your parents aren’t even here with you! Who was willing enough to buy you a ticket to America and pick you up in an airport!?” He exclaimed. Tommy pouted. “Calm down, mate. I’m sure that Tommy had someone responsible with him…right?”  
Techno scoffed. “The kid must’ve snuck in then. Didn’t even buy a ticket.”

“Seriously!? Just because my mum or- or father dearest isn’t with me-“ Dream suddenly tugged him by his red hoodie string, and dragged him up-front. “I’ll be stealing your kid.” He told Phil before walking over to the rest of the SMP members.

Schlatt was talking to Connor and Charlie. “I’m not gay.” Okayyy…Dream did not expect that in their conversation. “Schlatt.” He calls out. The man immediately stops walking and turns around to go over to Tommy and Dream. The others pass by them, some looking on in confusion and amusement. But most of them were undeniably curious.

“How’s America?” Dream asks, and suddenly they’re walking behind everyone else. “They don’t have a Queen.” Schlatt snorted, while Dream scoffed. “Of course not, Tommy. We don’t have an immortal woman named fucking Elizabeth.” Tommy shrugged. “You could’ve had one, you just didn’t know.” Schlatt sighed. “Alright, that’s enough from the two of you.”

They passed by multiple buildings, until one caught Tommy’s eye. He paused, Schlatt and Dream doing so too. “What is it this time?” Dream asked. Tommy scratched the back of his neck.

“Exclusive?”

“Probably an apartment.”

“4-story building.”

“Not too high of course.”

“There’s a tree.” Dream pointed out. Indeed, there was. It looked very sturdy, even its branches were thick. “I dare you to jump off the building.” Schlatt and Tommy both said simultaneously. Dream was already used by that though. It applied to all three of them anyways.

“What do I get in return?” Schlatt turned to the side, looking deep in thought. Then his eyes widened, and he looked back at Dream. “I’ll do a Dream SMP animation on my Sclare channel.” Dream smirked, along with Tommy. Schlatt sighed. “Why does it feel like I’m the one who’s not benefitting from this?” Tommy grinned. “Nah, you will. Once Dreamy here’s done with the dare-“

“He might not even do it.” Schlatt cut in. Tommy continued nonetheless.

“-you’ll do the animation.” Schlatt rolled his eyes.

“Probably more of a WIP but okay.” Dream raised a brow.

“One of us will comment on it, and BOOM! Massive view count.” Tommy smirked.

“And subscribers.” Dream added. Tommy nodded. “And subscribers.” He finished. Schlatt rolled his eyes. “Either way, I would be doing the animation, aren’t I?” The other two nodded in confirmation. “So, I don’t have a choice?”

“Basically.”

“Yeah.”

Schlatt sighed once more. “Fine.” Tommy turned to Dream. “You focus on getting on the roof. Schlatt and I will drag the others here.” “TOMMY!” Wilbur called out. “Hey, are you guys good? We turned around and suddenly you guys weren’t there.” Foolish asked. They began walking towards the trio, not aware of the event that would happen next. “Or they could just come to us.” Tommy smirked. 

“Is this my cue to go or..?” Schlatt rolled his eyes. "You've been rolling your eyes a lot, Schlatt." Schlatt glared at Dream, who weakly grinned under his gaze. “Just get in the fucking building, Dream.” He groaned out. Dream hastily nodded and slammed open the doors to the building. “Wait, sir-“ Dream was gone by now, climbing up the stairs as quick as possible. Schlatt lightly chuckled before turning to Tommy. “What now?” Tommy laughed. “We wait, big man.”

* * *

Tommy and Schlatt cackled, the rest looking at them in confusion. “What’s so funny? Dream is about to fall off a building!” George had said, a bit offended by how light they were taking the situation. “We dared him to, anyways.” Tommy replied. “HEY DREAM!” Schlatt shouted. “YEAH!?” “DO A FLIP!”

A chorus of NO!’s were heard, but Dream disregarded them. “DO YOU WANT A POSE TOO?” Dream could see Tommy’s head go up and down. A nod. “ALRIGHT THEN-“ The door behind him busted open. Dream groaned as he turned around. It was Sam and Antfrost. Oh, and Velvet. The poor man was breathing heavily though. “You guys must’ve climbed up a LOT of stairs.” He lied. Well, kind of. It was only a 4-story building anyways.

Sam glared at him. “Step. Away. From the ledge.” He finished. Dream pretended to be deep in thought. “Let me think.” After a few minutes, Dream sighed in defeat and stepped away from his demise. “Fine.” Sam smirked. “Now come on-“ “Sike.” Dream began running in the opposite direction, and jumped.

“DREAM!”

Dream fell off the very edge, as he cackled in the air. Time seemed to slow down for him, as he looked back up and saw Sam and Ant peering down with pale faces, Velvet covering his mouth with his two hands. Back on the ground, everyone was shouting and trying to align themselves with Dream’s falling body to hopefully catch him. Everyone besides Schlatt and Tommy of course. 

Schlatt’s arms were raised in a cheer, as he looked on with excitement. Tommy remained behind the given phone, recording Dream’s free-fall. Unlike the others, his face remained stoic with a deadpanned look on his face. Hell, he even looked bored! During the time lapse, which was Dream falling off the building, the teen had the audacity to raise his hand and yawn into it.

Dream raised his middle finger at the teen, who only smirked. He was falling close to the ground-

His arms raised up to grab onto a tree branch, and he pulled himself up. He jumped down onto another branch, and his feet finally met the ground. He turned to Schlatt and Tommy. “Did you get it?” Tommy nodded, handing Dream his phone.” Dream grinned. “Nice.”  
“You still doing the end of the bargain, Schlatt?” Tommy asked. Schlatt shrugged. “Like I said, don’t really have much of a choice.” 

“DREAM!”

They turned around to see the whole group with mixed faces of confusion, shock and anger. Dream was about to walk over to them when he realized there was a security guard walking out of the apartment building. Who was holding a walkie talkie. “Yes…a guy with a lime green hoodie? Entered the building without permission…”

Dream paled. Schlatt tensed up, while Tommy took a defensive stance. “RUN AWAY FROM THE SCENE OF THE CRIME-“ They began running. “Hey, HEY! GET BACK HERE!” “DREAM!”

They passed by an alleyway, and they backed up a few steps before entering it. They pressed their backs against the wall, and suddenly their friends were running pass. “They couldn’t have gone that far, right?” Tubbo asked, panting. “Dream literally JUMPED OFF a building, Tubbo.” Techno said. “I’m going to KILL HIM.” George stated with a frown on his face. Sapnap placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not alone.”

“Let’s go then.” They ran pass. Well, besides Puffy. She stared at the shady alleyway, suspicion on her face. “Hello?” Her voice echoed. No one answered her, holding their breaths just in case. She frowned, taking a step forward- “PUFFY!” Niki called out, distracting Puffy. “COMING!” She ran away.  
They sighed in relief, until they heard police sirens. A police car drove by. Two others were following suite. Schlatt and Tommy looked at Dream, who sheepishly smiled. “They can’t arrest an influencer?”

* * *

“A man in a lime-green hoodie jumped off an apartment building in Florida…”  
The news reported said on TV. Everyone immediately stared at Dream, who sunk into the couch. “…in all seriousness, I was dared.” George groaned. “Not this again.” Suddenly, Schlatt and Tommy walked into the room. “Congrats on getting on the news again, man.” Schlatt stated before disappearing into the kitchen. “Again..?” Sam repeated. Tommy shrugged. “He’s been on the news countless times already. Like that one time he jumped off a bridge-“ 

“What?” Sapnap said, his face pale. “Or maybe that time he did parkour…” Bad gave Dream a look that said, “We’ll talk later.” Dream awkwardly smiled. “How about that time when he illegally scaled a 24-story building, which was private property?” Schlatt cut in. Puffy gasped in horror. Dream meanwhile looked deep in thought, a small smirk on his face. “Yeah…that was fun.”

Schlatt snorted. “Good times?” He asked. Dream smiled. “Good times…good times…”

“WHAT THE FUCK, DREAM.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why won't ya'll join Discord ;(  
> https://discord.gg/YcZXMPpbR8


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